June 2006 Archives

Stronger than steel...

The porcelain shards fall to the ground with heart-rending notes... But the wireframe hidden beneath cuts through flesh without mercy...

It is an act of survival... to learn to give and give... while maintaining that fierce inward focus...

To give without thought... is to be devoured...

To pierce the veil is to perish...

As I've mentioned before, I have a new toy and a new obsession...  It keeps me out of trouble more or less, so the family is happy about it (more or less)...

So we played golf yesterday afternoon, and as we were loading STUFF into the car, I considered taking my camera.  I opted not to for a couple of reasons:

1. If you're lucky, golf moves fairly quickly (playing not watching HA!) so I didn't think I'd really have time...
2. Besides flowers and insects (and killer attack geese), I've never really seen anything remotely interesting on any of our local golf courses...

As it turns out... Not only was the course PACKED, and so play was exceedingly (IRRITATINGLY) slow, but while we were there we saw...

Two beautiful cranes...

AND

Not one, not two...

But three...

THREE!!!

Baby coyotes!!!  They sauntered across the fairway right in front of us and sat on the sidelines playing while we waited for the people in front of us and I RANTED about not having my camera!!

DAMN!!!

photo: NOT mine since I SUCK!!!

You forget what it's like to fly up over the top of the hill?

I think I even forgot how to breathe...

Ooooooh it's good to be flying again...



(I'll never give up this manic/depressive thing... the manic is far too GOOD to lose!!!)

Ok, so it's time to take a break from the entrepreneurial life and go back to being a working stiff for awhile...

(Yeah... giving up being my own boss will SUCK, but cash is GOOD and having someone else pay for my plane tickets for awhile will be a beautiful thing...)

I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off (and yes I DO know what that looks like, having grown up in FARMERTOWN you know )... getting my life in order and making some decisions...

Now I have 3 weeks to lounge around being Beach Bum Barbie (oh, and to shop for shoes!!) before it's back on the hampster wheel...

Do you create when things are falling apart? Is it a way to express the pain that is too much to keep inside?

Or are your acts of creation an expression of joy that can only take place when sheltered by a happy and stable environment?

For me it tends to be a balance (oh we haven't heard THAT before)... When my world is unbalanced for whatever reason, I can't seem to calm down or relax enough to concentrate... I can't seem to share when the pain is at it's sharpest...

On the other hand... the intoxicating energy of a situation going well is sometimes enough to keep me swimming along just enjoying it... The wonderful moments seem just too... private... to share...

So perhaps then... creativity is an act of reflection... a translation to some other medium those moments of heightened pleasure or pain...

When I'm far enough away to see them more clearly...

photo: mine

WooHOOO!! Got a new toy today...

One of these...



(So what do I immediately turn my focus to???)

Little snippets of this and that...
Thoughts and feelings I don't want to forget... Pictures I want to capture before they evaporate...
 
Sometimes I post them someplace...
Most often I put them in a folder and leave them there...
 
When I go back to them later I often think... 'Did I write THAT??'
 
'WHAT was I thinking?  How could I have thought THAT made sense'
'Or was important'
'Or meaningful...'
 
Sometimes I'm embarassed at myself...
 
And I wonder, how do they do it?

You know, the real artists... the ones who lay their pain and anguish and happiness and self-loathing and anger out for everyone to see...

Do they go back later and wish they'd just kept it to themselves?
 
Or do they just not go back?

photo: chicago.metablogs.archives

Anyone wanna party in Hell* with me tomorrow???
 
(What? you didn't know Stepford was just an hour east of hell???)
 
And then head over to Climax* for the afterparty???
 
(Who said Michigan was no fun???)
 
*Actual Michigan cities
photo: actual mapquest route proving you have to go through HELL to get to Climax (from Stepford anyway!!!)

The secret to the baby bird's educational success???



Find a good tutor!!!

photo: Professor Tibby (mine)

(NO the baby bird is NOT getting married (BITE your TONGUES!!!))

Can be stressful, uncomfortable and face it, BORING! (can you say 700 names to announce?)

A lot of people skip the ceremonies, or leave as soon as they've seen what THEY want to see (why are people so self-absorbed and rude?)

But to me, even though they can be all those things... (Yes I was hot, yes I got TIRED after about name 254 (ok my kid was in the top quarter of names called)) I am grateful for them because they serve as a reality check... By trying to inspire the target audience one last time, they provide a reminder to the rest of us of the things we forget about most of the time in our day to day struggle to get by... They provide an opportunity to take time to remember what is really important...

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Reset... recharge... move forward...