May 2006 Archives

GRADUATION   DAY


yaywaaaayaywaaaayaywaaaayaywaaaayaywaaaayaywaaa!!!

photo: Googled

Think... write... delete...

History is written from the vantage point of and for the advantage of the writer... (even if that advantage comes in the form of keeping a sword away from your neck...)

In every myth there is a kernel of truth...

There are few hard and fast laws, but Maslow's Hierarchy will not be denied...

Things are not always as they seem...

People are going to do what they're going to do...






photo: God as Architect

Some things are just plain WRONG...
 
Still...

Why why WHY????  Do I DO this to myself???

 

Yergh!!

Who'd have thought it was possible to eat TOO MANY s'mores???

photos: Googled

all the pretty shiny tendrils…
letting them slide off to who knows where…


The wounds she did not close…
The blood ran down in silvery threads and gathered in pools at her feet…


She didn’t want it to stop…
She didn’t want it not to hurt…


She sat outside on top of the moon and fed the lilacs…
The shimmering threads that flowed from tiny cuts…


Giving light where there was none…



Photo: Mine

Burn the leaves...
The letters...
The unfinished pages...

Focus, magnify... watch for a tendril of smoke...
Shoo the ants away (that child was not me...)

Still... fires... rising smoke...

Closets full of old clothes, old memories...
Keep everything... until you can't remember why...

Is it better to burn it all and wish you had it back...

Or be unable to find it underneath a mountain of regret?

photo: gallery.hd.org

Need I say more??

(Still not convinced?  How about these or these? (I rest my case))

photo: ebay (YES someone was actually selling pure red evil on ebay!!!)

It's clear I should not be allowed to grocery shop alone...
 
I suppose I could just claim to be on the 'All frozen Ding Dong' diet...

(Did you know you can take something already really bad for you and make it much worse?)


 
photos: twinkies.com

The best thing about blogs is being able to record and communicate your innermost thoughts and feelings, and maybe to gain some insight along the way...

The worst part is when something goes sideways and you feel like something you would prefer to keep private, and maybe pretend isn't SUCH a big deal, is out for public display/debate...

I suppose it's like living in a small town... Everyone knows everyone else's business...

Sometimes it seems like even exuberance over something new can seem like a slap in someone else's face if they are still getting over you or what you had with them...

Sometimes it even seems as though a blog's very purpose (exploring inner thoughts and feelings) runs counter to being a thoughtful considerate person, if the people you care about read your blog...

Sometimes I wear sunglasses at night...


No, I'm not talking specifically about anything in my life at the moment... but it IS something I've noticed as a sort of recurring theme...

photo: www.reichertms.com

Ok so...

I got this really cool grill thingy for Mother's Day. It's like a saute pan except with holes so you can grill things that would normally just fall down into the fire...

So yesterday I decided to try it out:

Honey Citrus Shrimp

Shrimp
Green & red peppers
Pineapple

Garlic
Honey
White pepper
Lime juice
Salt

Stir it all together and grill... mmmmmmmmmm...

At least in theory...

In actual practice it all went swimmingly... for awhile...

I prepped the food, heated the grill, pre-heated the pan...

Then... it all went south...

No sooner had I actually put the food on the grill to cook then it started raining... big slow drops that turned into big FAST drops...

Still, I was determined, and shrimp doesn't take all THAT long to cook (and the grill has a lid... a BIG... HEAVY... Lid)...

I even went and got an umbrella (YES, it was raining THAT hard...)

So picture me there, outside, barefeet, umbrella in one hand and big spatula spoon thingy in the other...

I reach out with the spoon hand (yes I'm talented) and pull the grill lid up (think hot, fire, hot...) and it comes unhinged on one side...

I then try to get it back on with one already full hand and then the other side comes unhinged...

So then I call mildly (read: in a panic) for someone to come and help before I drop a heavy (HOT) grill lid on my foot or dump the grill or whatever...

I am trying to keep the rain off the food, and keep the food from burning...

My husband comes out to help,stopping of course to push in the chair (since when does he push in the CHAIR??) and find his shoes... and then, since he has obviously mistaken my panic over the fact the I'm about the BECOME the barbequEE for something more akin to being melted by the rain (I AM made of sugar after all (I HEARD that!!)) He comes out rather reluctantly, slips under the umbrella and tries to hold it for me...

To make an already TOO long story a bit closer to SHORT, I explain the situation, get him to hold the grill lid and run inside to get something to rescue the food...

Which I finish cooking on the stove...

Which was at least not being rained on...

And then we ate dinner in our fairly damp state while animatedly discussing who was wetter and why I was NOT a 'babypants' (some peoples' children!!!)

On the upside, the shrimp was FAB!!!

The grill, however, is in timeout!!!



photo: brookstone.com

In these jeans of his with her name still on 'em


If the rain pours down cold and relentless...

And washes away what's left of my delusions...

Revealing a blackened scar from a day long forgotten...

What then?

And if I look closely, more closely than I've ever looked before, and strip away the blackness to reveal the gaping emptiness beneath...

What then?

And when the last of an ancient scar is stripped away and screams pour forth with the mouths of angels filling the sky with their angry tears drowining even the rain....

What shall I do with myself then...

When I have nothing else to hide from myself...

Not the lies not the anger not the silencing of my soul...

And the holes are patched with gold and silver and branching light that stretches out further than even time can see...

What then?

Hey but I don't care 'cause sometimes I hear my voice and it's been here...
Silent all these years...


lyrics: Tori Amos
photo: TC Mathotra

It's MAY
It's MAY!!!
 

The Friday night of months...

My favorite month of the year...

The weather is beautiful...

The lilacs will soon be in bloom...
 
Mmmmmm...


(Lilacs are my ABSOLUTE favorite flower... When I was young I used to make lilac 'perfume' for my mother every year... I'm SURE it must've been ghastly...
 
Still... SHE pretended to like it... )
 

photo: my lilacs