April 2006 Archives

It takes a fair amount of force of will...

To hang suspended in mid-air instead of falling straight down into the abyss...



(Fortunately, that sometimes pays off...)

photo: Peninsula Camera Club

Just a few weeks ago they were tiny shoots....



Now spring is really REALLY here!!!



(Did you notice that the daffodil at the top has a tiny guest?)

...and covered with gravel…
footing can be tricky if you don’t pay attention…

The ground is wet in places… and the gravel crunches underfoot…

I can hear water… toward where I’m going…

The book is damp from having been dropped in the water…
It’s not as pristine as it once was… Perhaps someday that’ll add character…
Right now it’s just damp…
Still I carry it with me as it contains so much of what I’ve worked for…

I walk to the place where I had to swim before…
And the path is closer to the other side…
Like I could almost jump across…

I look to the other side and see sand falling like a waterfall… a dark red color, like in the witch's hourglass…’These matters must be handled DELICATELY or you hurt the spell…’

If I wait for the path to finish, will there be enough sand left to get where I need to go?

I watch and the path continues to grow toward the other side… And then it reaches it… and I walk across…

And tilt the glass upward starting the sand all over again…

Then walk to the right and down the path…

Even the most resolute among us long to cast ourselves into the sea...

 

The river flows beside my feet carrying with it all semblance of time and space…
 
And as I stand… clothed in absolute clarity… my eyes begin to adjust…
And I see… not what I would look for… but what I have refused and long forgotten…

The floating debris of regret and sorrow…
And shadows of doubt…

And if I see… what I have hidden for so long… what then?
Will I reclaim what has lain dormant?

Will I…
At last…
Be free?

photo: www.artbankstudio.com.au

You just have to go along with it...

Fighting a current that strong is just an exercise in futility anyway...

So you let go... and let the river flow where it will...

And if you're really really lucky...

It takes you where you wanted to go anyway...




photo: Rolling River - Jeanette Le Grue

VW in da house, ya???!!

I have senioritis and I'm not even the one graduating!!

There are just WAY too many things to try to keep up with, and I would really just prefer to glide along and just ENJOY every last minute of my daughters last few weeks as a high-school student and a minor...

But noooooooooooooooooo...

There are forms to fill out, and letters to write and notaries to visit, and research to do, and expenses to document, and graduation parties to plan, and campus visits and supply shopping and and and...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Just 5 minutes ago (or was that last fall?) I was panicking because it was going to fly by too fast... and now...

Here I am...

And there she goes... 

photo: VW via Veer: The Skinny

So I happened to stumble across and infomercial late one night (ok so I didn't stumble, I was lured into the room and thereby trapped by the music) hawking the definitive and most GINORMOUS collection of 70s music ON THE PLANET...  And while watching the infomercial, (No, I didn't buy the collection... Would YOU buy something that advertised for 30 minutes without EVER telling you the price but would be HAPPY to let you preview the ENTIRE collection for the low low price of  $9.99???  I didn't think so...) I was reminded of a number of songs that I hadn't thought about in years...

So began my quest to procure said songs from places that will tell me how much they cost BEFORE I buy them (iTunes is my friend)... And while searching, a couple of things came to mind...

Firstly, what was it about the 70s that made breaking someone's heart ROMANTIC as long as you were up front about it ('I'd rather hurt you honestly, than mislead you with a lie...')?  I mean c'mon... Were the 50s & 60s SO emotionally repressed that ANYTHING was ok as long as it was the TRUTH???

And secondly, I have many many songs that are meaningful to me... either because they hold a special memory, or they define something I want... But I realized recently that  I have also used songs to define things I DON'T want... 

Heartbreak is NOT romantic... Honesty is NOT justification...

Two out of three will never...

Ever...

Be good enough...


photo: sheknows.com/cookingsmart
lyrics: Dan Hill & Meatloaf

Oh my but I have...

Just because I haven't been able to spend ALL my time in the internet doesn't mean I haven't been CURSING under my breath the entire time, RAILING against the fates that have so cruelly dragged me away from you...

(Ok so I've really been just mumbling incoherently while feeling vaguely guilty about WISHING I was on the internet instead...)

It's a good thing I don't have a therapist... Haha well for many reasons, not the least of which is that I would be spending a LOT of money staring at the ceiling and saying things like 'uuuuuh' while thinking to myself 'Nope, not that one... Nope not that one either... Oops don't say THAT...'

(If you can RECOGNIZE the places where you are close to being considered 'off the edge', doesn't that mean you're not REALLY 'off the edge'? (Please say yes ;) ))



Note - The semi-coherent ramble you have just witnessed is pure fiction... Any resemblence to actual persons living or dead is a MERE coincidence (I swear)...

It takes a long damn time to crawl back...

When the place you land when you fall is totally KICK-ASS...

Trying to get back 'into the swing of things' is nearly impossible...


So I fell off the face of the Earth for a little while... it rocked...

But life didn't freeze while I was gone (WHAT is up with THAT???)

I've been trying to catch up for the past few days...


Getting there... I think...  damn...